We are Tam Read online

  Before Tameron had been allotted to Darwei, she had lived with other youngers in the Growth Centrom. Darwei was a lecturer at Unitec. Time slipped by so swiftly that he did not realize when he had passed the age of applying for a younger. Then the Elders of the Growth Centrom were reluctant to allow him one.

  "You are too old. You will not have time for a younger. it is time to commence your life-studies," they said.

  But Darwei persisted, filing application after application, until the Elders relented and allowed him to collect the next younger ready to leave the Growth Centrom nursery.

  He was not as tall as his own parent, but as he entered the nursery he looked like a giant to Tameron. Bending down, he swept her up into his arms, so that they could look at each other face to face. He was instantly charmed by her soft, curly hair and large frightened green eyes.

  He took her everywhere, carrying her on his shoulders into Unitec, ignoring the stares of other persons, who left their youngers to amuse themselves. He told her everything he knew, making no allowance for age, expecting her to understand.

  One sunning she ran into the garden-dome and found him sitting beneath the blue stone obelisk in a state of trance. She waited patiently, and when at last he spoke he told her about mirror-imaging. Quietly he explained that it was against the Elders' laws and so must remain their secret, and that, although it had once been a common custom, now only Older-parent, himself and Tameron knew of it.

  Tameron was fascinated. Until that moment she had never heard of the past. She had been taught that there was no past. 'NOW is NOW and forever will be NOW'. She repeated this to Darwei.

  "No, Younger. The Elders do not want us to know. They believe that the past was so bad that to know of it would harm us. If there is a 25th century, there must have been twenty-four other centuries. No matter what the Elders say."

  Tameron had never thought of this. She had never questioned the lessons taught her at the Learnatec.

  "What do you think Oldcit is, that great heap of rubble in the centre of our beautiful Newcit?" continued Darwei.

  Tameron shook her head and shrugged helplessly.

  "I never think of it. It is forbidden."

  "It is forbidden to question it, yet it is there."

  Tameron tried to focus her mind on Oldcit, but it kept slipping out of her head. Darwei understood.

  "It is difficult to break the mind patterns they have instilled into your brain. You must think about it a little at a time."

  "How did you learn about ... the past, Darwei?"

  "Older-parent spoke of it to me when I was a younger.

  He is eight decades living, and he remembers a little of the recent past. It is he who taught me to mirror-image."

  "What happens when you mirror-image?"

  "I contact any person with my name and image who is living in another century. I sing his name over and over until I connect within his mind. Then I can transfer my image to his

  time and learn about the past."

  Seeing her startled face, he smiled reassuringly.

  "I have a plan. Would you like to hear it?"

  Tameron nodded eagerly.

  "Every decade the Elders turn more and more of Oldcit into parkland. Soon it will be no more, then no one will question." He lowered his voice. "But each sunning, before night-lighting falls, I cross into Oldcit and search among the rubble."

  "What for?" Tameron asked breathlessly.

  "For something called a Town Hall. I learnt of it from a piece of ancient writing I found many sunnings ago. There is an important cylinder buried there. If I find it, perhaps I shall be able to prove the past exists."

  "What will you do with it when you find it?"

  "I shall go to Unitec and say that NOW is not forever NOW, that we must accept the past and learn from it, that if we do not we shall lose the will to enjoy living."

  His grey eyes glowed, and his voice rang throughout the garden-dome.

  Tameron shivered. "To go to Oldcit is forbidden, there are no night-lights there."

  "See," he said triumphantly. "You have been able to think of Oldcit. Soon you will be able to question."

  Each sunning Darwei spoke to her about mirror-imaging, telling of his search in each century for an identical person and of how difficult it was to contact such a person. He had made contact only once in his living. He promised Tameron that when she was older, two decades perhaps, he would show her how to search, and perhaps how to move back in time.

  One sunning Darwei did not return from Oldcit until mid-nighting. Tameron waited anxiously. Newcit was ablaze with the blue night-lights that lit up every corner of the parks and forests, before he was returned under guard to their home-dome. He had been caught by the Citguards trying to cross the forbidden area into Oldcit. For the first time in her living, Tameron saw her parent without his silver mark. It had been removed to show his disgrace.

  The next sunning the Elders proclaimed him a disturbing element and refused him entry into Unitec. He was never to lecture there again. Darwei comarised to overcome the shock.

  To go into comarisation at the first sign of stress was normal. Every person did it. Comarisation slowed down the body's energy rate, calmed the nervous system and revitalised life-colour. Everyone, from babes at the Growth Centrom Nursery to older-parents in Unitec, was taught to comarise as a natural healing medicine. Sickness and pain were unknown. Tameron had never heard of either. Her love for her parent and worry for his safety were the strongest feelings she'd ever known.

  CHAPTER 4. MIRROR-IMAGING

  Although a normal comarisation took from one to three sunnings, Tameron did not worry when Darwei remained comarised for five sunnings. She knew that being expelled from both Unitec and his decade living-group was the greatest shock her parent had ever had. Each sunning she visited his rest-chamber and spoke to him of her lessons at the Learnatec. She knew that he could not hear, but it made her feel happier.

  But gradually she realised that this was not a normal comarisation. Darwei's body-suit colour began to fade. The walls and ceiling of his rest-chamber became paler and paler. Now that it was the tenth sunning, his life-force was dangerously low, and she knew that her parent was no longer within his body.

  She ran from the rest-chamber and through the home-dome to Older-parent's study-chamber, entering it without waiting for the invitation ceremony that always took place when a younger visited an older person.

  Older-parent lay on his glass couch, projecting his thought waves onto the curved ceiling. He rearranged the patterns and studied them in silence.

  "Older-parent, Darwei isn't comarising. He is gone! He is not in his body! Her body-suit shone a vivid purple with panic.

  Older-parent reluctantly suspended his thought patterns. "You did not wait to be invited in, Tameron," he reprimanded gently.

  "But Older-parent," she pleaded, "Darwei's life-force is fading. His body-suit is almost white."

  "Almost white!" Older-parent sat up quickly, breaking off his thought patterns with a flick of his eye-lids. "I shall come immediately."

  She waited anxiously as the old man inspected Darwei's body. Carefully he examined the staring eyes and ashen skin.

  "It is true. He is not there," he said sadly.

  "Where is he, Older-parent? Where is Darwei?"

  "Hush."

  The old man lowered himself to the metal floor and sat thinking for a long time. Tameron's eyes never left his lined face. Finally he spoke to her.

  "I hoped it would be a normal comarisation. He had a great shock, yet he knew he was breaking the rules to enter Oldcit. His obsession with the past has ruined him."

  Older-parent rested his head upon his knees, his body suit was now mauve. Tameron touched his shoulder gently and he looked up at her. His grey eyes were distant and vague.

  "Knowledge of past ages is forbidden, and always will be forbidden." His voice took on a chanting note. "There are no past ages. It is the most important law. The 25th century will n
ot allow such lies."

  "Darwei did not tell lies," Tameron interrupted in a small but determined voice.

  "All past centuries are gone. There is nothing but NOW. NOW and always NOW.' Older-parent recited hypnotically.

  Tameron recognised the first lesson taught in Centrom.

  "But you know that is not true, Older-parent. Darwei told me you remember the past as it was."

  "I was less than one decade living, younger than you. As a dream I remember it. That dream is forbidden, and rightly so."

  "Darwei says we are weakening, fading away, that we no longer understand emotions. he says we shall stop living and just exist, as if in a soft cocoon." Without realising it, she was shouting.

  "It is wrong of Darwei to tell you this. Wrong to question the Elders. They know what is right. They make the rules to protect us. See how breaking the rules has ruined him?"

  Darwei is not ruined. he is somewhere else," argued Tameron.

  Older-parent shook his head wearily. "I am to blame. I taught him to mirror-image. I was wrong."

  "Mirror-image? Has Darwei mirror-imaged? But he is not in the correct position," Tameron said quickly.

  Older-parent's eyes suddenly cleared. "How do you know what is the right mirror-image position?"

  "I know that if I sit in the right position, and concentrate on the fourth level of consciousness, I can sing to my mirror-image in another century and move myself back into her time."

  "You make it sound simple, but it is not," Older-parent

  said. "Finding one's mirror-image person is almost impossible. They can be anywhere on Earth at any time. Sometimes many centuries are searched before one finds a mirror-image. Darwei has found only one, although he has searched for many decades. I have mirror-imaged only once into the eighteenth century, and it was a terrible experience!" His body-suit darkened, and his face became thoughtful. "I had searched in every century before I found him. He was something called a soldier. I found him crouched in a dark, muddy hole. I sang his name over and over, and he sang back. He was frightened when I appeared, and seemed to be warding me off. He shouted. "I am not ready to die. Don't take me. Stay away."

  "I tried to explain that I could not take him anywhere that I was only an image, but the noise of explosions was so terrible, he could not hear and I was too afraid to stay there. I often wonder what happened to him. It was a violent place."

  "You never returned to see him again?"

  "Never. It was a fierce and frantic place with many soldiers dead or wounded, not beautiful and calm as it is here in the 25th century. I do not wish to know of the past. The Elders are correct to forbid it."

  He stood up and turned away from Darwei's body. "There is nothing we can do, no way he can help. He is not inside his body."

  "If I could mirror-image, I could go and find him," said Tameron, catching hold of older-parent's arm.

  "That is impossible. You must have time to learn the correct concentration. A younger is not strong enough to mirror-image. It is impossible.

  "I have been practising on my own, and if you helped me, maybe I could. Darwei said two persons can do it. He said he would show me when I was two decades living. Please, Older-parent, please let's try. We might be strong enough."

  Older-parent looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. How like Darwei she had grown with the same determined expression, the same eager eyes.

  "It is dangerous, very dangerous."

  Tameron saw a flicker of interest in his eyes.

  "It would be very difficult. You might find him, but could you help him?"

  "I could try."

  "No, it is impossible. We do not know which century or which city he has mirror-imaged to."

  "He told me about a place called a Town Hall in Oldcit. Couldn't we start with that?" suggested Tameron.

  Older-parent hesitated. She could tell that he was arguing with himself.

  "Please, Older-parent."

  "We shall try," he sighed, "but at the first sign of danger we must stop. Promise me that."

  She nodded at once.

  "Then come quickly."

  Tameron followed him into the garden-dome. Swiftly he showed her the correct mental attitude. Speaking rapidly, he instructed her on how to pass through the barriers of time by singing silently and sending the message through the centuries to her mirror-image.

  Beneath the blue stone obelisk they sat cross-legged, arms outstretched, their hands clasped tightly. Patiently they searched the centuries. Sunning passed, and still they sat, locked in concentration, searching, searching. At last they found her, a younger exactly like herself.

  They redoubled their efforts. Tameron sang her name over and over, willing her to respond. But it was no use; she could not make contact. Sometimes she felt that she was almost inside her mirror-image's head, but always she was forced away. Only once, when her mirror-image was at a loss for a poem, did she enter the girl's mind, singing her favourite lines from a song poem Darwei had written years ago.

  Outside, the sun was setting. it shone on the home-domes and the tall night-light poles. High on a hill the great dome of the Elders glowed a pearl-grey as the sun's rays glanced off its curved walls. While in the garden-dome Older-parent and his grand-younger were breaking the most important rule of their century. They were attempting to contact the past.

  Tameron unfolded her legs, stretching them stiffly. She lowered her aching arms and rubbed her eyes. "It is no use, Older-parent. She is always surrounded by other youngers."

  Older-parent opened his eyes, which were sunken with exhaustion. He twisted his neck from side to side and flexed his stiff shoulders.

  "I have not mirror-imaged for three decades. I am drained of energy. I must comarise and regain my strength." His body-suit turned a pale yellow as he spoke.

  "But we must try again, Older-parent. I am sure Darwei is lost somewhere." Tameron's green eyes filled with tears, and her face was tight with worry.

  Older-parent smiled gently. He refused to worry. He hadn't worried for decades. To do so was to disturb one's thought balance. Darwei's disappearance was unsettling, even dangerous, but Older-parent's training and life-studies would not allow him to dwell upon unpleasant thoughts for long, he picked an orchid that hung from a fern.

  "Do not worry, Tameron. once I have rested we shall try again." He stroked her soft hair and pushed the flower under the silver ribbon. "You also must rest. Mirror-imaging is never easy. in my youth few people conquered it, although many tried. Then the teaching of it was forbidden. If the Elders discover us, we shall be banished." His body-suit coloured deepened to a steely grey at the thought. "That would be a dreadful thing." He turned away from her. "I must rest," he said wearily.

  Tameron followed him out of the garden-dome. In the home-dome the curved walls reflected their body-suits as they passed. Older-parent's suit was now a dull, metallic black, showing his need to rest. Tameron's suit flickered a pale blue, expressing her worry.

  As she passed Darwei's rest-chamber, she hesitated, then entered. Gently she touched his white cheek. What would become of her if Darwei never returned? She would be sent back to the Growth Centrom. She was too old to be allotted to another parent. Anyway she didn't want another one. She wanted Darwei. Older-parent might keep her, but she didn't think so. Youngers never stayed with an older-parent, because it interfered with their life-studies. She must find Darwei, and the way to do that was to contact her mirror-image. She was sure of that. "Perhaps they meditate during night-lighting. We must try then. We must keep on trying until I contact her," she told her silent parent.

  CHAPTER 5. THE PROMISE

  In the bedroom, Tam's low voice mingled with the song in her head. Her headache was gone. Instead she felt light and floaty. A spicy perfume filled her bedroom and behind her tightly closed eyes a fuzzy picture began to form - tall trees laden with heavy yellow fruit, curling creepers of white spider-orchids. Tam thought it the loveliest garden she had ever seen. But as swiftly as th
e picture appeared it began to fade, leaving only a lingering fragrance. A second picture formed. This time it was of a tall blue stone obelisk, it shimmered and wavered and with one blink was also gone.

  She opened her eyes and dropped her arms in disappointment. Was that all? A beautiful picture in her head, a blue stone then nothing? What about the pain, and where was the voice that sung her name? She felt let down. Swinging her feet off the bed, she walked to the window and looked out at the afternoon sun setting over the city. The sky was darkening, the city lights were pale and ghostly.

  Behind her the room began to glow with a peculiar rose colour. Each piece of furniture stood out clearly, as if outlined with a pink pencil. In the far corner, beside the her wardrobe, a pinprick of red light appeared, flickering like a star. As Tam turned and watched, it slowly grew larger, changing into warm orange and then melting into deep yellow. She stared, fascinated.

  The glittering light moved towards her. She edged

  towards the bed, her eyes never leaving the ghostly shape. As it became as tall as herself and appeared to reach out to her, she drew her feet up onto the bed and raised her arms protectively.

  "Are you afraid?" a soft, musical voice asked.

  Tam nodded warily. The light was now green and taking on a definitely human form.

  "Older-parent said his mirror-image was afraid. I am afraid also. Older-parent said it is dangerous to mirror-image, I could become lost in time!"

  Tam lowered her arm and watched as the glowing shape became clearer. Before her stood a girl whose transparent blue presence lit up the whole room.

  "I'll be through in a heartbeat," the girl said, pushing a long blonde plait woven with silver thread over her shoulder.

  Tam gasped in surprise. The face before her was her own! Her own blonde hair, her own straight nose and her own green eyes. It was like looking into a blurry mirror. Slowly the coloured light became solid, and the girl in blue smiled with relief.